Wrestle A Dragon

Editor's Forward: This was based on a prompt that can be found here. I've added italics to that portion. This is just a silly one that harkens back to the fantasy setting of over the top characters and battles.

You make it to the dragon's cave and plant both bare feet firmly into the ground, then release a mighty shout, “I've come for you, beast!” You roar as you charge at the tremendous dragon.

“Get him!” The villagers scream, watching as you prepare to swing your sword at the dragon's head. You taunt the dragon by flailing your dick at him.  You are going to make him bleed if you hit him.

The dragon roars at you, his maw full of sharp teeth. He lunges at you, a flurry of sharp claws and jaws coming from either side of you. You jump out of the way.  You don't get knocked off your feet; you barely even move, yet you remain standing like a true champion. The dragon's head pokes in front of you. The ladies swoon at your bravery.

You swing your sword at the dragon's neck. The blade pierces the thick, scaly skin and plunges into the thick, black blood. You pull the sword out and the dragon roars in pain. You coat your body in dragon blood.  You are determined to stay standing no matter how much this disgusting dragon bites you, scratches you, or tries to breathe fire on you. The crowd cheers you on. 

You swing your sword again, cutting through the dragon's neck yet again. The dragon falls to the floor, dead. You stand over the corpse victorious.

The ladies swoon in love for you. The villagers cheer. You flex your hands and look at the blood all over your hands. You've proven you can do it. Three fair ladies run out to reward you for your accomplishment.  One has a big wad of gold in her hands for you. You're pretty sure it's for your efforts, but you don't really care. The others pull off their dresses and jump on you.  The party continues for days and days and days after that.

Two weeks later the king of the land passes away. His son, the new king, calls for a meeting of advisors. You attend as the Nude Dragon Slayer.

“We are in dire need of a hero. The kingdom is under attack of some sort, but we've sent for reinforcements. You are to lead, and we hope you lead to victory,” the king says.

“Well, I am the Nude Dragon Slayer. I think that I should be the one to lead the army. Besides, did anyone ask for my credentials? I have some at home.” You say, pulling out your epic sword and showing it to the king and your advisors.

The king smiles and nods. “Good. But, must you always fight in the nude?” You gulp. You had forgotten about that. You blush and say, “Well, no one has asked for my clothes yet. I can't think of a plausible reason to put them on.”

“Fair enough. Victory is all we need.” The king says, “Right then, let's get going. Take your posse and lead us to victory!”

You ride off with your posse. The road warriors with you are pretty shocked. You take the lead since they'd prefer not to look at your dick for too long.  You march your troops to the front lines and make your way to the battle.

You reach the front lines and see that some sort of undead army has overrun the area. You helicopter your junk and scream a battle cry.  You lead your troops in a charge against the undead hordes. The fighting is fierce, but with your charge and the will to live of the living, you eventually push the vile zombies and skeletons back and claim victory.

Back at the king's castle, you feast on the dead, then retire to your room to rest.

In the morning, you find that your troops have been massing outside your door. “What news do you have?” you ask. The warrior next to you, a rather large man you recognize as being named Big Red, speaks, “We have word. The reinforcements have arrived. They're sending in the cavalry now.”

“For what danger?” you ask.

“The undead have broken through. We're losing the battle.”

Without hesitating, you mount your horse and ride off to see who needs saving. The rest of the troops follow. You get to the site of the battle. A large hole in the ground is there. In it, you see the dead and dying bodies of men you've fought alongside for years. You feel tears come to your eyes. But there's no time to weep. In the distance, you hear the sound of horse hooves. Then, the sound of clashing swords. The cavalry. They're coming.

And they might just save your ass. Your naked one, of course. 

You ride towards the sound of the fighting and see a large group of riders. The undead are being cut down. The cavalry has arrived. They fight valiantly, but question your fighting tactics.  However, they follow you nonetheless. You fight your way to a hilltop where you have a commanding view of the battle. You see your troops killing the undead. The undead army below can see you standing at full mast.  They attack. You laugh. The cavalry fights below you. You laugh. You turn to your troops. They laugh. You laugh. You laugh your ass off.

A fierce female fighter joins you at the front lines.  She swings her sword at a zombie riding towards you. She hacks him in the neck with it and he falls from his horse. More of the undead fall. The rest flee.

“What's the matter? We win.”

You look at her, distracted. She is beautiful.  She smiles. You look back at the battle below. The undead are fleeing. The cavalry is chasing them down. The survivors are rallying. They are cheering you. You laugh.

Then, you laugh again. “Shall we finish them off?” you ask her. You've come this far and there's no turning back now. You and your troops go down the hill and attack the ragged band of survivors. You fight. You kill. You loot. You have fun. The female fighter, whose name is Celeste, joins you. Her fighting skills are comparable to your own. She seems to like fighting as much as you do. Plus, she's a hell of a lot easier to look at when you're naked. You laugh again. You fight on.

In time, you reach a village. Celeste says, “This is as far as we go, I'm afraid. The next village is three days away at least.”

You ride on. Celeste rides on. You fight on. You laugh on.

You get to the village in question and dismount. The villagers seem surprised to see you and Celeste. You are given a room for the night and you both retire to your own room. As you retire, you feel a sudden chill go down your spine. Something isn't right here. Something is waiting in this village for you. You can feel it. You exit your room and go down the stairs that lead to the village square. You see several villagers milling about. You see a man named Alistair leading a large group of villagers. “What is the good word?” you call to him.

“Praise the lord! It seems the dragon has slain an army of evil wizards and has returned to the land of the living. Praise the lord!” one of the villagers cries out. Everyone cheers.  The cheering is cut short, however, when you see a hooded figure step out from behind a building. “You will all come with me, now. I have a special task for each and every one of you.”

“Who are you, stranger?” you ask. “What evil do you seek to work?”

The hooded figure laughs. “I seek no evil. I am the bringer of good.”

“I don't believe you.”

“Would you like me to play a song?” he asks. “A song to remind you of what you are doing?”

You sigh. You've heard this song before. “Enough music. I feel a sinister presence. You will not take this village.”

“Oh, I most certainly will. I will take this village and I will take all of you with it.” The hooded figure raises his arms. Suddenly, a beam of bright light shines from the sky. The villagers are burnt in a flash of light.  You are thrown to the ground, unharmed, but the music stops. Your horse rears up in terror and bucks, nearly throwing you off. Celeste rushes down from her room to see what's happened.

“What is it, boy?” she asks, petting your horse.

You see the hooded figure approach her. He is holding something in his hand...something that looks very much like a sword. He stops in front of her and she stares at him in shock. “Your time has come.” He speaks softly.

You call over to Celeste to warn her. “You know what you need to do. He's too strong. You must fight in the nude. It's the only way!”

“I know.” Celeste smiles. “I'm n-naked.” With those words, she steps out of her room in a flash of light and joins you in fighting the hooded villain. You make the ultimate power couple. If the villagers were still alive, they would have seen you both with your muscled bodies on display. You would have been the envy of the entire village. You and Celeste would have been able to get laid whenever you wanted.

You attack the hooded figure with the full force of the dragon.

“You want to get laid afterwards,” you ask her. “Assuming we win.”

Celeste nods. “Yes.”

The hooded figure sends you to another flash of light.

When you regain consciousness, you are outside. The field is clear, with no sign of the hooded figure.  You are lying naked on the ground, your horse beside you. Celeste lies nearby, naked as well. The sky is a bright blue, the clear weather giving way to a warm, gentle wind. Birds fly overhead. Insects buzz in the grass. It is a beautiful day. You roll over to Celeste. “So, about our deal.”

“We made a deal, you perverted pervert.”

“We did. Now I'm thinking of turning you down. You're too distracting.”

“Oh, are you now? Well, there's one in the chamber for you over there.” With that, she points her finger at a nearby cave. “Go.”

You chuckle and mount your horse. “You know, I was actually planning on doing that anyway.”

Celeste throws a rock at you.

You laugh and enter the dragon chamber. You take a moment to enjoy the view. Celeste meanders out in the field. It's entertaining to watch the two of you fight. You feel a sudden burning sensation all over your body. “Ow.” you grunt. “That burns.”

“It's a fire-breathing dragon,” Celeste tells you. “You're going to get your ass kicked.”

You continue to watch the fight, hoping it will lead to a threesome. You can't help it. Your hormones are raging. “It's time to put out this fire.” With those words you pull the lever on the wall. A flame shoots out and hits you in the chest.

“Oh, for fuck's sake,” you moan. “This isn't working.”

Just as you are about to give up, the flames go out. You hear a loud snorting sound. You look down and see a pair of leathery, black wings sprouting from your chest. You look up and see the red eyes of a dragon staring down at you. “Holy shit.”

Above you is the dragon, ready to make another pass at you. It looms over you, easily four times your height. It opens its mouth and lets out a low rumbling growl. Red flames come out of its mouth, engulfing the both of you.

You close your eyes. You can handle a dragon in the nude. Especially one that's about to eat you. You're a strong swimmer. You can use the flames to propel you. You take a deep breath... and open your eyes.

You notice a sword lying next to you. Celeste watches and laughs as the flames lick at your naked form. “Fuck this, I'm not stripping for you.” she shouts.

A blast of flames engulfs you. You close your eyes. Her words were hollow. She rushes into the cave, tits bouncing all over the place. You notice her naked ass before she disappears from view.

 She jumps on the dragon with her bare feet, straddling his neck. She swings the sword at his head. A deep gashing sound echoes through the cave. The dragon's head rolls from his body. You climb on the dragon's back as it takes to the air. You wrap your arms around his neck to keep from falling off.

You notice his scales are a pale grey, almost colorless. Celeste rides the dying dragon down to the ground. The monster's body releases a cloud of fire vapors. You feel the heat on your naked body. The fire burns your skin, but it's a warm, comforting burn. “Our deal?” you remind her.

She looks at you. Her eyes are wide and glistening. She stands up and walks over to you. Her hands run through her short, brown hair. “Sure, what the fuck.”

You climb atop the dragon's corpse. “It's time to put out this fire. I'll use the flames, you use the sword.”

She pulls a dagger out of her hair and tosses it to you. You catch it in your hand. “Let's do this. On three.”

You both climb onto the dragon's neck. “One... Two... Three!” You wrap your arm around his neck.

You feel his body begin to quiver. The head shakes back and forth. The body struggles against your grasp. The flames lick at your naked form. Your heart beats fast. You feel alive... again.

The dragon begins to buck. You clutch the dagger tight. The dragon's tail shoots up in the air, nearly striking you in the face. “Celeste, hold on!” You shout. Your arm slips from the dragon's neck. She catches you by the waist. We both fall to the ground.

You hit the ground at a breakneck speed, but you don't feel any broken bones, just a few bruises and scrapes. She lands on you. It feels good. The breath blasts in your face, sending flames shooting up your nose. Your body relaxes, the adrenaline pumping through your body. “Is... is everything... O-okay?”

“It is now.” You grab her firm muscled ass and roll over to the side. You notice the dagger in your hand. It's a beautiful weapon, but it's just a piece of metal. You take a deep breath and hurl it at the dragon. “I think it's dead,” she comments, then looks down at your body. “I suppose you want a victory lap?”

You notice that her pubic hair has been singed off. It's a nice sight, although you doubt her genitals are any less singed than her bush. “That'd be great.”

She grabs your hand and drags you out of the cave. You emerge into the starry sky, looking down at the desert and the burnt out cave. “What are we doing?” she asks.

“We're going native,” you reply. “Let's hike up to the mountains and meditate our way to enlightenment.”

“I was hoping you'd say that,” she says.

You both begin the long hike up to the summit. At the top is a wondrous sight of the kingdom. You can see lights from the palace, shining from within the walls. You can see the lights of other villages and towns, spread out in the distance. Thousands of people make this city what it is. You walk up behind Celeste and bend her over. “What's this?”

She looks over her shoulder. Her eyes widen. “You don't want to know,” she says.

You grab her ass. “We're going to show these people what they're missing.”

“You're a character,” she comments and widens her stance so you can take her from behind.  You grab her ass. “I'm not.”

You lift her up off her feet and pin her arms against a large tree. You slide your tongue into her ear. “You can be.”

“You're crazy...” she says, then bites her lip to keep from screaming.

You slide your hands up her smooth legs and slap her butt. “You can be a character in a story.”

She moans as you grind your raging erection against her. “I don't want to be a character in a story. I'm a real woman.” You've waited enough and plunge into her tight, wet folds.

“Ahhhnghh...” She cries out as you thrust into her. You grab her hips and pull her onto your erection. A wave of pleasure propels through your entire body. You grab her by the hair and slam her head against the tree. You hold her there as you plow into her, taking her hard and fast. You could last for hours, and you don't want to. You release her hair and pull her down so she's looking into your eyes. You keep your eyes open, not wanting to close them and miss a second of her beauty. You want to remember every detail of her face.

You pull out of her and stand her up. She grabs her hair again and smiles. “You know what would make this better?”

“What?” you ask.

“If you were wearing clothes.”

You laugh. “I'll never wear clothes again. No now. Not ever.”

She nods. “I'm in.”

You reach the peak of the mountain, standing in the wind on the summit. You turn back and look at the city. “So, what now?” she asks.

“Now we see what we can do. Hike down the mountain and show these people who think they're free what real freedom is. We can help them see their true potential.”

“And what of you and I?” she asks, her voice hushed.

You look at her, her eyes shining in the moonlight. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” she says.

“I think we make a good team. In battle and otherwise.” You nod. “Yeah. We do.”

“No more questions and no more answers,” she says. “Right now I just need to feel... fulfilled. You feel fulfilled?”

You smile. “Always.” You point to your dick. “But, this just might make the experience better.”

“Good, I want you to go for it. Show these people what it's really like to live freely.” You raise your eyebrows. “And I want you to come with me.”

She nods, her face turning serious. “I'd love to.”

You stand there for a moment longer, enjoying the view of the city below, the stars above, and the woman you love beside you. “I want to show these people what they're missing,” you say. “I want to break down the walls of their cage and let them know what true freedom feels like.”

Celeste struts around naked. “I have an idea what it's like.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I do.”

You grin. “Then let's fly!”

You turn and drop to one knee. “Will you be my wife and have sex and kill things with me?”

She nods. “Yes. Let's go!”

You both dive off the mountain.

The people of the kingdom watch in awe as two buff persons drop from the sky and start to tear each other to shreds. The people scream with delight.